


What We Say and What We Don't

by ficletsbynaria



Category: Great Pretender (Anime)
Genre: Alcohol, Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-07
Updated: 2020-09-07
Packaged: 2021-03-07 01:41:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,386
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26345032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ficletsbynaria/pseuds/ficletsbynaria
Summary: Was this dance ever worth it? When only one took the lead and the other stumbled on their toes trying to keep up?Sadly, one thinks they're doing the waltz, while the other sees it as the tango.
Relationships: Edamura Makoto/Laurent Thierry
Comments: 13
Kudos: 92





	What We Say and What We Don't

**Author's Note:**

> i got hit with the Big Sad™️ and I had to project those feelings somewhere and they went to these boys hehe... 
> 
> this oneshot is written in makoto's pov.

"what are you doing?" makoto sneered, pushing away the body of his companion. he smelled like wine, or something heavier, maybe whiskey.

"oh come on, edamame, don't act like you don't enjoy this." laurent slurred, motioning to his body as if presenting himself.

edamame. that nickname kinda stuck with him. for some reason right now, it sounds wrong. especially with how laurent is saying it.

maybe it was the liquid courage affecting him, but makoto swore he heard fondness. a rare emotion from the blond.

laurent was still posing for him, a silly smile on his face. "what, you're not in the mood?" he pouted. makoto wanted to say it was the same pout he saw thousand of times before. yet he can't.

makoto darted his eyes away from his tired, but warm ones. "you're drunk."

"i always am."

"well it's not like this." he emphasized the last part, furrowing his eyebrows.

laurent plopped his weight over makoto instead of replying, the action surprising the latter. 

they both fell onto the couch with laurent sprawled across makoto's body. 

"hey! get off of me!" he grunted, pushing laurent's limp figure away. he didn't budge.

makoto gave up and deflated on the couch. the steady breathing coming from laurent signifies that he fell asleep.

while the brunette was thinking of a way to escape this situation, he felt vibrations through his chest, where laurent's face was laying on.

"what?" makoto asked.

"...d'you like me." laurent repeated, this time moving his face so he could stare at makoto.

god, they were so close.

"i like you better when you leave me alone." he rolled his eyes. makoto started squirming, trying to push off the blond.

but laurent was faster.

both makoto's wrists were pinned on the couch by laurent's hands. suddenly, lauret didn't look so tipsy. his eyes weren't glossed over, but something was shining at the edges.

tears.

"answer me, makoto."

_he said my name..._ makoto's eyes were as wide as the moon outside, illuminating the empty living room with its soft glow. 

his voice was caught between his throat. he tried wriggling free from laurent's grip, but it was no use. laurent only tightened his hold, and moved closer to his face.

makoto can see the deep blues in his irises more clearly. he felt dizzy, **very** dizzy. he can smell the liquor in laurent's breath now. ~~it was definitely whiskey.~~ but he needed to focus.

"laurent. you're not acting like yourself."

something shifted in laurent's face. "i can be drinking vintages that will intoxicate me for hours on end, but i will **still** be myself." 

makoto dared not to challenge his proposal, hearing as how the blond's voice lowered an octave. under the dim room though, he knows laurent was offended.

the midnight traffic served as the ambience in the noiseless area. at this point, makoto was waiting for a snarky comment. a smirk framing that stupid, smug face of laurent. instead, he was silent. eerily so. the hard look that he had a few seconds ago, dissapeared on his face.

"...laurent?" he asked, weary of what laurent would do next.

laurent inched his face closer to his, the movement causing their noses to touch at the tips.

he panicked. makoto panicked. he sunk his head into the couch, and moved his face away from laurent, choosing to close his eyes. makoto held his breath with a hiss.

whether it was involuntary or not, it didn't matter now.

he heard laurent gasp. quiet. so quiet that it sounded like a whisper. makoto peaked at him.

makoto thought of himself as an empathic person; other people pointed it out too. and he was deeply affected by the emotions that he could sense in others.

so there was no doubt about the feeling he had while seeing laurent's expression.

wounded.

it was only for a second. a _long_ second, before laurent removed his hands from his wrists and sat up on the couch. 

makoto was frozen in place. he opted to open his eyes and saw a slumped over figure. laurent was holding his head in his hands. makoto thought he was talking to himself, since his lips were moving.

_his lips._

those same lips almost touched makoto's. he absentmindedly brushed his fingers over his own. the one word blinking in his head right now like a neon sign, was **why?**

he brushed off the flirty remarks from the frenchman. he took laurent's lingering touches with little thought. and laurent didn't mind that makoto ignored and even pestered laurent to stop his antics.

so _why?_ why is he being so different now?

maybe.

maybe laurent was mostly right, about him still being the same person, even drunk. but maybe this laurent was raw, unhinged. 

that's when it struck makoto. like a wall of bricks falling in his dumb, stupid head.

thousands of thoughts running in his head, words that might help console his friend. makoto might try to give an apology, yet it might sound half-assed at this moment.

he nervously glanced at laurent, who was steady the whole time he pondered about stuff. his posture was stiff, almost as if a rope was tightened around him. makoto saw a glimpse of his eyes, unshed tears remain behind it.

makoto's ears perked up, after realizing that laurent was still talking like before. only this time, it was finally audible.

"...not again." laurent breathed out.

makoto had to pretend he heard nothing. he knows though, that he heard those two words clearly. that laurent said it so for him to hear it.

maybe it was the alcohol loosening him up, since he doubted laurent did that on purpose.

_right?_

before he could utter any reply, laurent stood up.

"i'll text you tomorrow about the new job. you should go tell abbie yourself, i'm sure she would like to see you." laurent chattered on, his voice sounding colder by the second.

he stiffly moved towards the door, hand opening the doorknob, before he felt makoto's hand on him.

"i didn't mean it." makoto blurted out.

didn't mean what? moving away from laurent? rejecting his advances? breaking his heart? out of all the shit that he wanted to say, his stupid mouth had to jumble everything up and choose those words. 

"i know." laurent replied. 

there he is. for the first time that night, laurent sounded sober. there was clarity in his tone. but that idea, paired with what he said, was gut-wrenching to makoto.

makoto still kept his hand on his shoulder. "i'm sorry."

there was a pause.

"i know."

even his words didn't make sense to him. what was the reason to apologize? to alleviate his own guilt? _why was he feeling **guilt** in the first place? _

"i'm sorry..." makoto weakly repeated. 

it was like a mantra. maybe if he say it enough times, this event wouldn't have happened. 

laurent was still for a few seconds, most likely absorbing in his words. a few seconds later, he placed his hand over makoto's, pushed it away from his body and back to makoto's side.

makoto refused to move anymore than that, feeling as if he would break the tension in this room. and maybe his own body.

laurent opened the door, and glanced at him. makoto couldn't see much in the dark room, but he somehow felt that same smirk from laurent. 

this time, he know it was forced.

he let himself to stare at those luminous blue eyes, which unsurprisingly, was already staring back at him. and they let their gazes speak to each other, revealing their innermost thoughts and sorrows.

_i'm sorry i don't feel the same way._

"laurent. don't leave." makoto tried. tried to salvage this moment. but at the same time, he wished that laurent won't listen to his pleas, because he cannot face him right now.

he couldn't handle the weight inside him. he was disgusted at himself for what he was feeling for laurent.

pity.

"i never planned to, makoto. and i never will." the finality in his voice was accompanied with the door closing. 

makoto was left alone, swimming in heavy, painful emotions. his chest was aching, waiting for him to let out his frustrations, yet it was no use.

whatever makoto was feeling, he knew deep inside him, that laurent felt worse.

**Author's Note:**

> this was originally posted on my twitter thread and my loml rhi (shoutout to u bb) went thru the motions with me, so i thought of sharing it to u guys <3
> 
> hope u enjoyed :D


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